I remember a time in my life when I had this incredible motivation to make myself something good. I looked for every book, every philosophy, every everything that could potentially help in this effort. I tried all sorts of things. My motive was good, but everything was all tangled up with the philosophies of man. I recognized that the scriptures spoke of what I wanted, and that was largely the source for the desire to become something good. But inevitably philosophies of man got mingled in.
I included God in the effort because, this was important, and at the time I saw it as a means of further accomplishing the goal.
Yes I may have improved some skills and abilities. Those have their place. But that would never satisfy one of the inner desires of the heart. God did answer the prayers I offered. The answer however was completely shocking to me. I got what i needed, not necessarily the thing I was headed towards. The answer included pretty much the opposite of what I had been doing. It reoriented my life. Jesus Christ and His Gospel became the foreground, and everything else became the background.
The answer also had to do with surrender. Realizing that if anything good was going to happen, it would be due to Him, not me. I saw what "Good" really means, and that man is nothing. The Gospel offered what I really wanted, the philosophies of man only caused problems and pride.