Wednesday, February 15, 2012

A portion of my testimony

I share a few things in the Spirit of testimony and respect for that which is sacred.

My birthday is in the Spring. I was born at home, surrounded by family in the comfort of my parents bedroom.  I was born to loving, kind, and lovely parents.  I'm sure I cried some newborn tears. I was 'born again' in the fall, many years later, this time interestingly it was at a hospital, again surrounded by what I would come to know as family, in the comfort of a parental presence that defies all description. At first I did not understand or know how to describe what had happened.  Something inside me underwent a change that I lacked words for but it was deep, and expansive and "mighty" for lack of a better word.  Words like humility, pride, submission to God and our own nothingness became an experience rather than just words.  Nothing I could do could express the warmth, love, joy, and peace I was overwhelmed by.  It was enveloping.  I found my strength exhausted.  I found a new beginning, a new world, and a new relationship.

Scripture speak of things that had never entered a persons mind or heart.  This was like that for me.  Despite years of religious upbringing my vocabulary failed me.  In an overpowering wave of light and knowledge this experience made all else of this world look like foolishness and vanity and pride.  Compared to the reality and character of the Divine.  Scriptures say that knowledge of God serves like an anchor to the soul.  This is true. It's a joyous part of my testimony and I prize and treasure it above all else. It imparted light that filled my soul, eternal words provided comfort.  These are things I ponder and treasure always. Gifts of the Spirit were immediately present. Within minutes I was asked to minister to the broken hearted, suffering, and hopeless.  The experience grows and gains clarity with time and study. It's like it a moment in time, yet independent from time.

I believe what happened or the details are not useful to other people other than to testify that it happened and testify of the teachings and process that helped bring it about.  And I would rather understate the experience than over state.  But what I want to state is it came as a result of God's grace and believing in and following the teachings found in scripture.  One resource was particularly helpful.  It was a book titled The Second Comforter Conversing with the Lord through the veil.  God is real.  I sought for further light and knowledge and messengers with a message from God pointed the way.  Anyone can do this.  For me it started with finding a truth that settled deep into my soul and stole my focus and determination.  I believe it starts with your own desire to fill the void inside us all and being humble and willing to keep God's commandments.  Not religious standards or religious commandments, but God's commandments.  I'm a regular person with no special education but found success re-looking at the scriptures without religious lenses on.   

I continue growing, continuing to seek the Lord and His righteousness, though most times I feel totally inadequate, or unable to succeed.  Some things in life inherently are "no going back" type events. This has been one of them for me. The scriptures, and gospel ordinances reveal and now speak of Jesus Christ in personal ways to me.  They will for anyone willing to accept and begin the path. A relationship began that day for me in the fall which is one must experience for themselves.  Spring and Fall, home and hospital, God and man reconciled through Christ.  These symbols have profound meaning to me.  I believe you, reader, will and can find your own personal proofs and awe and relationship with the divine that will fill you too.  The Gospel brings beauty and patterns to life that can't be experienced anywhere else.  I hope anyone who reads this will try, and exercise even a little faith in God.  Scriptures confirm it is within man's privileges to exercise faith to the fullest extent and come to Christ.

Challenges have become more difficult since that day.  I'm no exception to life's pain and disappointments, moments when all seems lost, totally failed, or a waste.  But blessings of strength and assistance also come.  There is peace that goes beyond my ability to describe.  The love of God that overwhelms and will cause every knee to bow is not of this world. I wish I could share it and have others taste of it as well. It is now one of my deepest desires, however it rarely, if ever, it is able to be expressed.  Dear reader, I hope you sense something in these words, something that will spark your faith or point you to Christ. 

My Patriarchal blessing says I'm to record the significant events in my life and bear my testimony for my posterity. It says it will be of benefit and strength.  This post is intended to speak to that assignment.

What I've referenced in this post is a significant event.  It doesn't include everything, there is more I yet look forward to experiencing.  I'm no one special or of any reputation, and would not deny the worst you could say about me. My hope lies elsewhere.  My hope is in the Lord. I've shared a few key parts of my testimony and crammed it into words I spent a quite a while choosing.  So, there it is.  This blog is a portion of my journal.  So I share this in hopes of fulfilling what the patriarchal blessing asked of me.  The Lord is a being of perfect love.  I would not know this of myself had it not been revealed.

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